apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
