Already got asked if we're dating
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
