i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
