Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
