I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
