Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
