go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
