Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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