The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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