Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
