You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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