i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
