Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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