OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
