I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
