we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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