i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
