Nicole vs. Life
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
