yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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