you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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