I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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