is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
