i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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