things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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