i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
