Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
