Umm I'm too high to move.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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