Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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