We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
