my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize