I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Randomize
