Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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