yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
