yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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