Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
