Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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