It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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