Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
