We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
