One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
