i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
