no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
