are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
