This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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