i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you would pick up someone in the library
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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