A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
