I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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