she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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