I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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