I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
