Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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