Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
