If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
