imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
