I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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