She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
