Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
