Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
