: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
